An Australian Writes

This just in from an Australian reader who takes exception to my advice on London hostelries.  Always happy to offer constructive response to those who need some guidance on life's questions:

Dear Dr Carl,
I used to admire your wit and intelligence [CRT: Good man!  Though the past tense gives cause for concern....], but "All true beers are served flat and at room temperature, as you know.  The first mark of real civilization" is an affront to all thinking people and to civilisation [CRT: Check the OED; although they may not have that in Oztralia]. Either the 'z' is ironic, or you really have been living among the uncivilised for far too long [CRT: Or maybe, just maybe, I read the OED....] – and I'm writing that as an Australian, for goodness sakes! [CRT: Ah, you have a medical condition.  I'll go easy on the sarcasm then]
The only rule for beer – the colder the better… [CRT: For Australian beer, being tasteless, that is certainly the only way it should be drunk.  I understand where you are coming from on this].
Please send photo of sack cloth and ashes. [CRT: Will this do?]