The battle is joined...

Carl Trueman cannot tolerate emoticons. They represent the loss of language, the Roman war against the Protestant church, and the destruction of manhood.

Just a note on emoticons. You shouldn't use them:

1. Real men don't use them. In fact, not even Paul Levy uses them. They are thus part of the feminization of the church.
2. People who have a decent command of the English language and are able to express themselves using those old fashioned things, words and sentences, have no need of them -- even those permanently restricted by force of habit to only 120 characters. Just work harder. You have a great language; please use it. They are thus part of the increasing intellectual laziness of the church.
3. They represent a regression to a pre-Reformation theology of communication whereby image trumps words. I believe they were actually invented by Cardinal Walter Kasper who sent the first one in an email to John Paul II. They are thus part of an ongoing surreptitious and deadly Romanization of the Protestant church.
4. As I said earlier, real men don't use them. Hard to stress that one enough. So shave off the soul patch, ditch the triple iced moccawhateverlatte with whipped cream, close down that urban church plant you set up next to American Eagle Outfitters, pour the zinfandel down the sink, stop crying at pictures of puppies with wounded paws and -- above all -- delete those emoticons.

Anyone interested in joining a pitchfork wielding mob to address this issue?
Amen and amen!