An Open Letter to Black Lives Matter

Dear brothers and sisters at Black Lives Matter,

 

As the mother in an interracial family, I applaud you on many of your goals. Yes! Black lives do indeed matter, as do the lives of white people, Asian people, those with Down Syndrome, Learning Disabilities, etc. In general, life matters. That is why I am so concerned, friends, when I clicked on the "Black Villages” square on your web-site to see that you are committed to "disrupting the Western-prescribed nuclear family structure requirement by supporting each other as extended families and villages that collectively care for one another, etc."  Oh, dear ones, the nuclear family is neither white, nor Western, but healthy and universal for centuries. How I long to see black men rise up as excellent husbands and fathers. What greater impact can the black man have on society than to lead in kindness, and to protect as he interacts with his own family? That does not go to say that the broader community is not important, but it is primarily in the context of healthy families that children and adults thrive. My husband and I have worked hard to teach our own sons that to love a child well, you must love the mother well. Sadly, they tell us that among their friends they find few examples where this is happening. TEACH THE MEN to be HUSBANDS and the community will thrive! TEACH THE MEN to be HUSBANDS and we will see strong, compassionate, wise, bold, grace-filled black leadership emerge.  Abandon, or worse yet, seek to disrupt, the nuclear family, and we will continue to see the heartbreak of our boys lacking in self- awareness, seeking identity in temporal and even dangerous things.

 

I am no fool to think that my one e-mail will change what many impassioned people have thoughtfully constructed, but I would find myself being a poor community member indeed, if I did not share this deep concern with you, hoping that somehow you might reconsider the wisdom of your stand.

 

Sincerely,

 

Lisa Updike