`You 'avin' a larf?' and other FAQs about Rev BvR

Rodney Trotter
WARNING: THE FOLLOWING BLOG MAY CONTAIN HINTS OF IRONY AND MAY THEREFORE PROVE INCOMPREHENSIBLE TO AMERICANS.  READER DISCRETION ADVISED.

Due to the large volume of mail generated by the addition to our blog of Rev Boadicea von Ribbentrop, Priest-in-Charge of ST Olaf's the Sublime, Cricklewood, we have decided to answer the faqs in one convenient, environmentally friendly post:

1. Is the Rev von Ribberntrop a fictional person?'  (Sandra, Kentucky).  No, she is very real.  Just look at the black eye she gave Sean Lucas after here recent lecture at Covenant Seminary, `Not Vanilla but MANilla: American Presbyterianism and the Oppression of Women'.

2. Given that the world is primordial text and we peregrinate from semiotic encounter to semiotic encounter in an endless deferral of the closure of meaning, is Rev von Ribbentrop merely a floating signifier? (Rev Dave Trendy, Emergent Guru).  No.  See answer 1.

3. Is it true that 'Legs' Larry Smith was a founding faculty member at Westminster Seminary? (Ron, Ohio)   Though this is not a matter of confessional orthodoxy, we disagree with Rev BvR on her identification of Mr Smith as the Bonzo who worked with Machen.  We believe the earliest and most reliable manuscripts indicate that the bonzological influence at WTS came not through `Legs' but through occasional band member of the late 1960s, Vernon Dudley Bohay-Nowell. 

4. Does BvR's presence on the blog indicate you now accept women's ordination? (Gloria, New York)  Not at all.  It is an ecumenical gesture to broaden discussion, not an imprimatur on her status.  Nevertheless, arguments made by a number of readers have encouraged us seriously to consider rethinking our position: `My wife told me Paul was wrong'; `Nobody believes that any more'; `I prayed about it and it just seems so right'; `Dave's grandma's minister is a woman and she's really kind and helps old ladies and stuff.'

5. `You 'avin' a larf?!?'  (Mick Jagger, London taxi driver). No. Laughter is sinful.

6. Do I have to read Ref21? (Brian, Alabama). Until recently, yes.  But after the Supreme Court ruling, in Rev Dave Trendy vs. First Presbyterian Church, Jackson, you no longer have to waste your day reading material you find offensive.

7. Can I get a refund on my subscription? (Stavros, Athens)  Certainly.  The editor will be happy to cancel any subscription and offer a full refund to any and all disgruntled subscribers.