Bah! Humbug!

Editor's Note: This reply is in response to Jeremy Smith's recent impressions on a small town's Christmas parade. The article can be read here.

I am sure that some English Puritan or Scottish Presbyterian would point out to Jeremy Smith that he could have avoided all grief the Clinton Christmas parade had refrained from participating in such a pagan event. However it will not be I, who loves most everything Christmas. In fact, one of the primary reasons my wife and I decided not to make a short trip was that we did not want to miss our hometown Christmas parade. Christmas parades are one of the charms of small town living. It is another of those activities that give small towns a sense of community. Ours was broadcast live on cable TV and will be replayed every day through Christmas Eve. I have already seen myself on the tape so I doubt I will watch it anymore.So to this Christmas parade bashing I say, "Bah! Humbug" and may your sleep be tormented with ghosts.

One of my only complaints about our parade was that so little candy was thrown. Not even Santa when he arrived in a utility truck bucket, threw, much candy. But I like it when people throw good things, and I have the challenge of catching or moving quickly to grasp the goodie and the feeling of returning successful from the hunt, a hero to women and children. On of my favorite times watching the local high school football team this year was scrambling for and grabbing a little football which I gave to a certain child whom Jeremy knows. (The only thing I did not like about it was that it was provided by what JT and Dave call 'the paht-nu-ship" which has a pot of money from which a former attorney general dispenses favors, but I decided that, like meat at the butcher shop in Corinth it did not matter from where the football came, since it was a just a football no matter its provider.) Now with regard to the candy, I would prefer that instead of peppermint, the paraders might throw Hershey's Kisses, or their little candy bars that are wrapped in Christmas foil, or even those tiny boxes of Whitman's samplers that come out at Christmas. So I say, "Let us have candy!" (One of the nice things about being a low church Protestant is that we don't do the repentance thing during Advent, so we are free to enjoy all the holiday fare before Christmas Day.)

Then the poor little "Misses" came in for heavy criticism. We had so many "Misses" in our small town parade that I was sure the next car would hold "Miss Not Too Ugly." But, in my view, the criticism comes from the writer's having lived so long up north that he does not understand or appreciate Southern civilization, particularly not its Mississippi incarnation. Southerners admire feminine beauty. My experience is that there are more pretty women per capita in the South in general and Mississippi in particular than anywhere else. And for a long while, when people could still recognize beauty and grace, the South had a near monopoly on Miss America. Southerners have a tradition of mothers teaching their daughters to present themselves at their best in public. This includes their physical appearance. Alas, this seems to be in decline as we see so many women and girls now who do not how to dress - appropriately for the circumstance or with sufficient modesty - so as to enhance their beauty. (On my reading this kind of thing is approved in the Song of Solomon, which ain't about Christ and the Church, but about a man and a woman in the covenant community.) Moreover, a part of learning how to present oneself was learning how to sit, stand, and walk like a lady - not like a man, mind you, but like a woman who knows but does not flaunt her attractiveness). Another aspect of learning how to present oneself was learning manners - how to set a table with china and crystal and silver, how to speak to an older person, how to act around a male. Southerners have a certain connectedness with British culture, that Yankees lack. Indeed about the only thing we have against the Brits is that they did not come in on our side and help us achieve our independence and preserve our culture. Be that as it may, this appreciation for British ways has something to do with the Southern desire for women to know how to present themselves. Now our pageants and Misses have their roots in the tradition of training young girls about the proper presentation of themselves, including how to display their beauty and charm. That there should be contests and rewards for learning such things is entirely natural. So, unlike Scrooge Smith, I will smile and mildly clap at next year's Christmas parade when the 2007 Miss Pulp Wood comes down the street seated on the back of a convertible.

BTW, I think Luther, unlike Calvin, could well be seen riding in the back of a pick-up throwing candy to the children. He might have a stein of beer in one hand, which would limit him to throwing with one hand, but I think he would be having a good time, laughing all the way.

As to the rest I will instruct when I come.