The Church's Priorities: a Taxi Driver Speaks Out!

After a long break, Ref21 has once again turned for wisdom to that category of person that some regard as the third office of the eldership: taxi drivers.  So, today we are delighted to be able to be talking to Frank Zappa -- no, not the late, great surreal front man of The Mothers of Invention, but driver no 66754 with Moon Unit Cabs, Peckham.  Frank -- at the start of the new year, what do you see as the priorities for the church?

Well, guvnor, I’m not one of those trendy,  jump-on-the-latest-bandwagon-link-to-Greenpeace-from-my-blog-conversation kind of guys.  No, mate, just your basic biblical priority man, me.  So wot’s the church’s priorities for 2008?  Same basic biblical stuff as wot they’ve always been.  I mean, we ‘ave to avoid being co-opted by the culture and sellin’ out to a secular agenda, don’t we?  So let’s just stick the simple Bible basics.  Given that, obviously the first thing we gotta do is make sure that that Hillary don’t get elected president and undo all the amazing pro-life legislation of the last eight years and all that.  Then we gotta campaign to enhance individual liberty by bannin’ public funded education, as well as makin’ sure that every six year old ‘as the right to own as many automatic weapons as she can fit in the back of her old man’s unlicensed Ford F-150.  I mean, I know there’s all that stuff in the Bible about lovin’ your enemies, tremblin’ at the word of God, defendin’ the truth in love and grace, bein’ ‘umble in spirit, followin’ Christ on the path of sufferin’ and all that.  But come on, mate, just between you and me and the missus -- we live in the real world, don’t we? You do that stuff, mate, you know wot they’re gonna do to you, them godless liberals?  Do you, mate? They’re gonna crucify you, that’s wot, and no mistake. Strike a light! And let’s face it, guvnor, ‘ow can we do any of that stuff until we’ve finally got rid of our enemies out of love anyway?  I mean, don’t get me wrong – I love my enemies, me, and all that, but if they try to get me or mine and I ain’t got no magnum 45 to keep em at bay wiv, wot’s gonna ‘appen?  They’re gonna take over, ain’t they.  I mean, if I ‘ad a quid for every time one of them circular liberals offered to brainwash my kids…..