What will they think of next???

I see Inspirational Technologies have produced a GPS system that allows you to locate a church of your preference, to avoid those embarrassing moments on holiday when you show up at the first church you come to on the Sunday to find that the lady with the scary hair who is handling those snakes is actually the pastor..... At $999 plus tax, the Ecclesiax 500 is not cheap but has a variety of functions.  Simply type in a series of preferences and it will take you from where you are to a church where you can feel comfortable.   Settings include Atmosphere  - from `Friendly' right through to `Reformed'; Worship -  choose from `Psalms only', `Traditional', `Hymn-Chorus Mix,' `Garage' `Hip Hop' and `Speedcore' (Del -- you'll have to clarify those last three for me).  Ministers can be specifically profiled, all the way from `Very Traditional' through `Sad Character Suffering Mid-Life Crisis' to the tragic extremes of `Middle Aged but still has a Goatee, Earring and Pony Tail.'  Preaching is categorised from `Proclamation' through `Conversation' to `Liturgical Mime with Strobe Lighting.'  There's even an option on Christian freedom: from `Drinking and Smoking Forbidden' to `Drinking and Smoking Absolutely Complusory.'

Obviously, the system has certain obvious North American biases: when asking about Cultural Sensitivity, the system gives a range of options from `What?' through to the dizzy cross cultural heights of `Obtained Passport Six Months Ago.'

Still, if you want to beat the consumerist mentality which leads so many to move from church to church on a Sunday, this could be one hot little must-have device which allows you to make the right choice first time, every time.