Divine judgment and Welsh victories: a taxi driver speaks out!

In the wake of the mass mobilization of Carl Trueman’s loyal Welsh Ref 21 fan base after the disastrous defeat of the English rugby at the hands of Wales at the Millennium Stadium on Saturday, the Ref21 Blogmeister has posed the most pressing theological question of the day, `Is this a sign of divine judgment on the English nation?’ to a leading Reformed cab driver, Viv Stanshall -- no, not the late, great lead singer of sixties surreal rock group, The Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band but the very-much-alive-and-kicking driver no. 77865 with Canyons of your Mind Cabs, Woodford [Whew! That’s a relief! – Ref21 has enforced a strict ‘no necromancy’ policy since the ghost of John Knox blogged on the page last year and provoked numerous Theonomists to write in demanding that he be immediately dug up, brought back to life, and then stoned back to death – Del-Boy]. Viv, thanks for giving us your time; now -- England’s defeat: divine judgment on a sinful nation?

Well, guvnor, I woz readin’ summat that Trueman geezer had written on ‘istorical method and all that the other week, and although I know most of ‘is stuff is a right load of old pony, I did feel the force of his point that there is, like, an epistemonolo – an epistolome – and epsitom – you know, it’s, like, really difficult to know, like, the meaning of God’s doin’s in history and all that kind of stuff. So is it divine judgment? Well, I can’t say one way or the other, mate, but I doubt it. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love Wales and all that; I’m not a racist, me, and I don’t mind Welsh people at all. Mind you, they ought to stay in their own country and all that. I mean, it was big mistake when England took down the Berlin Wall and lifted visa restrictions -- they all just started floodin’ over the border, takin’ our jobs, drinkin’ our beer, and kidnappin’ our women, and that’s unacceptable, that is [Surely the Berlin Wall was in Berlin? – Del-Boy]. Arrest the lot of ‘em, give ‘em a fair trial and then lock ‘em up and throw away the key, that’s what I say. They’ve no place in a civilized society like wot we ‘ave in Woodford. I mean, the government should do something about it, shouldn't they? Sooner we put ‘em all in the slammer, the better, mate, sooner the better, believe you me. I mean, it’s no coincidence that the death of the British Empire and the rise of global warming coincided with the legalisation of Tom Jones’s records, is it, mate? Talk about crimes against humanity! A country can’t mock the basic standards of musical talent in such a flagrant way and not expect to face the consequences. I mean, let’s face it, guvnor, the whole entertainment industry is one extended attempt by Welsh communists to destroy English family values. I mean, I ‘ad that American televangelist, Pat Robinson of the 300 Club, in the back of my cab recently, and ‘e was telling me all about it. ‘E said it all started when they hired that gay teletubby from Pontypridd, Tinky Winky, to undermine our kids’ moral values. ‘E even bought his ‘andbag from the Wrexham co-op, you know. Then there was Sponge Bob Squarepants – Pat told me ‘e’s from Bridgend and ‘is real name is Dafydd Glanmor Evans; and just look at the damage ‘e did to the fashion values of today’s youth. Del-Boy could ‘ardly get away with wearin’ ‘is yellow plaid jacket to lecture if it wasn’t for ‘im. And there was that effeminate penguin in that cartoon wot recently shook Western civilization to its foundations and all that – ‘e was Welsh as well, you know, and a commie; I saw on Fox News that ‘e was a former member of the Merthyr Tydfil bureau of the KGB. And Pat also told me ‘ow Tom Jones’s music was designed to promote anti-biblical values and all that. `Delilah’ subverts the Samson story by makin’ Delilah (for it is she of which the title speaketh) into a martyr; then there’s `The Green, Green Grass of Home’ which is nothin’ less than a plea for the complete legalisation of marijuana; and if you play backwards Tom singing the Welsh national anthem`What’s New Pussycat,’ you ‘ear an evil brainwashing backtrack message, tellin’ you ‘ow Wales is actually the Promised Land and betterer than wot England is. Pat was tellin’ me that he reckoned the England Rugby Team was brainwashed into defeat when the Welsh crowd sang that at the start of Saturday’s game. Mind you, if me and the missus ‘ad a quid for every time we switched on the telly and Max Boyce….. [That’s enough analysis of the morality of Welsh culture; we won; there’s an end of it, boyo! – Del-Boy