New venture for Ref21 blog

Today, to counter accusations that we don’t allow a diversity of opinion on Ref 21, we’re pleased to announce the addition of a new feature to the blog: every week or two, a leading Reformed taxi driver will be invited to contribute his (or her) opinion on a particular theological issue or person that happens to be in the news. It is a delight to kick off this venture with a few words of wisdom from Bill Wyman – no, not the Stones’ former bass man but Driver No. 47791 with Chalcedon Cabs of Hackney, London. Bill, thanks for giving us your time – tell us your thoughts about Reformation 21, brother.

Well, guvnor. You know, I ‘ad that Rodney Trotter in the back of my cab recently. E’s an ‘opeless theologian, ‘e is. What a total, 42 carat plonker. I mean, all that nonsense about `Fetal Vision’ and Mickey Mauss. Mickey Mauss? Taking the Mickey, that’s wot it is. Not funny, not ‘elpful, and, frankly, of a standard I don’t even recall from my school days. No wonder the yoof of today is so unprepared for real life if ‘im and his mates are wot ‘igher education looks like nowadays, know wot I mean? The world’s goin’ to the dogs, innit – I mean, Reformation 21 really is a sign of ‘ow bad things are getting round ‘ere. Not safe for old ladies to walk ‘ome on their own from church any more, is it, mate?. It woz so much better when all we ‘ad to worry about was a World War or two and complete nuclear annihilation. Mind you, I ‘ad that George Michael in the back of my cab the other day – and ‘e told me that Reformation 21 was the worstest thing wot he’d ever read since he left that band Wham! wot ‘e was in with that Andrew Ridgeway geezer in the 1990s [surely `Ridgeley’ and `1980s’, --Derek Thomas]. I mean, no one in their right mind would dispute that George is a great theologian -- `Wake me up before you go-go’ could ’ave been written by Athanasius ‘imself, very `eastern Orthodox’ in terms of its view of deiflic— deicif— diefcil – you know, when ‘umans become, like, divine, and all that kind of stuff. Still, I can’t stand those confessional geezers, always going on about ‘ow Christianity weren’t invented last Sunday, about ‘ow we’ave to listen to the church and the past, and ‘ow we should actually believe in summat, blah-de-blah-de-blah. Christianity ain’t about propositions and truth, is it mate; it’s about love, and conversations, and buyin’ books with sunsets on the cover and bein’ inspired by Thomas Kinkade paintings, and about middle-aged men growin’ ponytails and listenin’ to U2 while ‘uggin’ each other, and all that, and don’t you forget it. Now, I’m not a theonomist or nothing, so I wouldn’t want to stone these confessional geezers or nothin'. Mind you, stonings too good for ‘em. String ‘em up, that’s wot I say. Shoot ‘em without trial. Boil ‘em in oil, bunch of right-wing, reactionary theological bigots. Mind you, don't get me wrong, I mean all that out of love – I’m a Presbyterian, me, and I love ‘em all as bruvvers, an’ all that; but gimme a rope and a lamp-post and I’d ‘ug em and ‘ang em, if you know wot I mean. You know, I ‘ad that Richard Gere in the back of my cab the other day – now e’s one of the bestest theologians around and ‘e told me ‘e never reads Reformation 21. That tells you wot a load of old pony it is. Mind you, if I ‘ad a quid for every…… [That’s enough `diversity of opinion’ for now ---Derek Thomas].

Next time: Ron Skinner, former `old Labour’ MP for Scunthwaite, now lead driver for `Comrade Eurocabski -- The People’s Taxis,’ London will speak to the issue of `Wales: If it didn’t exist, would it be necessary for Reformation 21 to invent it?’